Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Not another Fairy tale with Random thoughts

Once upon a time I loved a certain lady. So fair was she that handsome princes the world over professed their undying and everlasting love to her.Songs were composed telling kingdoms far and beyond of her intelligence and charm, dozens more singing of her beauty. Being of the sapiosexual disposition as I am(omera!), I was one of the many of noble blood to pledge allegiance to this fair maiden. She was all I could think of. Countless others and I to be exact. She made me happy when all else didn't  I could do anything for her, including jumping belly down on a grenade if that’s what it took to save her. She was my all.*Pause

Days turned into months of "courtship". I’m old school like that.  For some reason, we were drawn to each other like moths to a flame. We completed each other. She was my yin, I was her yang. One without the other was only the recipe for disaster.
Thine love for her shone bright like a diamond :D *Shakespear

We were perfect for each other they said. Was it true?
Maybe not?

All I know is, in the ensuing confusion that is love I found solace in her when I had nowhere else to turn to on this desolate earth. She gave me refuge in her fortress when I sought it. I provided her with a hiding place when things got rough, when the harsh realities of the world could be masked no longer.

Years later when we came to a point where our paths parted,she told me something that perhaps not even I understood at the time. This lady’s wisdom was paralleled by none other that I have known, save for a few. Even with all my perceived intelligence (or none), I didn't understand what she truly meant. I was upset many a time,till years later after the incident I came to learn what the fair lady meant.

In a few words, she explained so profoundly what love really was to her. I fear you might shed a tear.
I will not tell what she said to me, but I will let on the subject matter of her parting statement.
*Cue in break up music* Adele or Tailor Swift will do 

“I wish I had met you at a different time of my life.”

Say what now????

This was by far the most resounding thing that anyone had ever said to me. One of those things people say that you don’t forget, and trust me; I know a whole lot of people. Probably more than I should, judging from the rate of how fast I forget names. 

 "How in the world did she come to that conclusion?" I pondered while I lay awake most nights.

I never found out from her, needless to say. I found out on my own, through my endless and often interesting frolics of my own. Adventures with the fairer sex are always something to think about and smile. I have dated my fair share of intelligent, amazing, crazy and often loving ladies. But for some reason, I always am the guy that walked away at some point when it became apparent some elements were hidden in fine print, so to speak. When what is in fine print is read, I always say, not yet.
Not yet anyway.
Understanding yourself is a two faced coin.
Knowing that there is a lot of responsibility that goes into making some commitments is something most people overlook. You wind up doing stuff you're probably not properly equipped to handle because being the morons you are, you rushed and the timing is not right. Is it so hard to say wait? Or no? "Perfection"so to speak, though impossible admittedly, takes time to achieve. Sky scrappers have deep rooted foundations running deep to the belly of the earth. The entire thing is not constructed from start to finish in the blink of an eye.
(Okay, Maybe with the Chinese it's different :p)
Coming from one who lives life as if there's a finger on the fast forward to the "good stuff" button, you'd better slow the f down. Never ends well I have come to discover in my experience.

But anyway, Timing is a huge deal and from what I gather, you get it wrong you're stuck in a rut forever. In my opinion, the cause of so many breakups world over because people never realize until it’s too late that they are not on the same point in their lives with their significant other because they're out of sync.
I haven't quite decided yet whether am cursed or is it blessed to find out sooner than most people do whether a friendship/relationship will or won’t amount to anything.
This generally means I cut the bullshit and get down to business real quick. No smoke screens and mist to waste time trying to squint through. No groping around in the dark,(though God knows that never hurt anybody hehe.)
It's Good business strategy and mantra right there(I don't mean groping in the dark you moron), terrible advice to a young adult in their twenties.

Having this knowledge means that you (I) miss out on the fun and laughter of being young and foolish. I miss out on the random, beautiful moments that are so spontaneous that only unfathomable idiocy and the universe has the ability to precipitate such. I lack the patience and unanchored hope to live another day wishing it gets better, hoping against hope that someday that fantasy of the perfect happy ending will come true. 

However, People change sometimes. Perhaps even without realizing it. Life has a way of sneaking up behind you and doing unimaginable things to you haha.. (just had to) 

The same outlook to life I had then is not the same perspective I hold now. Simon 2.0 I guess :p
I spend more time enjoying the fleeting moments of joy in between parting of paths, treasuring laughs and   smiles I see on loved ones and strangers' faces. I have come to learn how to slow down enough to appreciate the view of my surroundings, taking mental snapshots that fade at dusk. I since learnt to loosen up and live in the present... To live a little, dare to dream even. Life's too short. A wholesome approach to life isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. Sodomy is..

The best thing of all is the thrill of getting to know a new friend, having a stimulating conversation about anything on the face of the earth. Getting to hear and learn from their experiences that give an insight into who they really are and whether they're worth having around in a big picture kind of way. There's something about the way some people think, analyze stuff and even diss others (you know yourself), that makes life more interesting and more bearable.
I once read a good life  is abundance of health and a bad memory. (Can it get any more profound?)

I love where I'm at right now, and I know it can only get better :)
The future will take care of itself I believe :). 



I'll move from the former to the latter?

In a million years or sooner? 

Haha.. I don't know. But for now, 

I'm keeping it real yo! :)

The Boss, 


Monday, 16 July 2012

Rock bottom: Wash away the monday blues

Sup Nairobi! Top of the morning to y'all :)
(I've realized I might be making this my trademark greeting )
Hope you slept well. Thanks for your feedback yesterday by the way
101 page views in 3 days..I'm grateful.

Today I'm doing something different. I'm not littering the halls of cyberspace with my two cents worth of thoughts. No! Not today :) I'm showcasing a piece I did a while back after being prompted by my blog godmother, not mentioning any names #Faith Mwende (big up yourself). She prompted me back from early retirement so, you people owe her one.

Enjoy this one.. #Peace

He stood on the edge of the balcony and stared down into oblivion. The breath-taking and utterly magnificent view of the city from his Penthouse was lost to him. He failed to be awed by the artistic myriad of color made by the countless cars whizzing past on the street below. He failed to gaze lovingly at the gleaming outline of the vast city in the horizon. The intensity of the twinkling stars above, easily visible through the clear skies un-mistakenly went un-noticed.

All he thought was; “How could something as good go south as fast?”
 He ran his fingers through his hair and gulped down the contents of his glass.
Double Scotch…On the Rocks. Stirred, not shaken.

His mind was reeling from the events that transpired that day. He struggled to fathom what could have caused her to leave. Everything was okay the last time he had checked.
“Why now?”
He set the glass down gently atop the cedar ledge of the balcony’s protective glass railing.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, typed in the decryption and stared at her text once more, as if he expected it to have changed in the last twenty minutes.

“I can’t do this anymore. I am sorry. I love you.”
Her smiling face pictured on his phone alongside the text made no sense to him. 

His mind backtracked to the last time he was with her.

His shoulders relaxed slightly, easing the tight knot that had formed around his neck.
They had spent the evening wrapped in each others arms under the very balcony he was standing on. He recalled fondly, her long hair trailing back to the small of her back, as her head lay gently on his chest. He could feel her heart beating gently, pulsating in her fragile ribcage, her lithe chest rising and falling as she inhaled.

A faint smile lit up his face.

For a moment, she was there in his arms. They were once more cuddled up on the floor, atop his custom-made Armani rug, a duvet leisurely flung around their semi-clothed bodies.

“You know I love you, right?” She whispered softly, her head never leaving his chest.

He remembered lifting her, looking her full in her eyes before replying that he had never doubted that, not even once…


The memory faded. Reality suddenly reared its ugly head, its foul breath repulsing him to the present. Its harsh, scaly claws suddenly materialized in the thin air and ripped to mere shreds of the last fond memory he had of her. He was propelled to the future, where he stood.

A fit of anger seizing him, he picked the glass from where he had placed it and slammed it into the life-size portrait of her that hung from his wall. Fury rocked him to his very core, leaving him a morsel of the man he used to be. As the glass Impacted the wall, the shattering noise and flying shards of glass made him realize how vulnerable his love for her had made him.

He fell gently to his knees, then propped himself on his back, all the while tears streaming down his face.
He had hit rock bottom.

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Lazy Sunday Edition

Greetings people!
It's your  favorite (self proclaimed)  blogger coming at you live from the capital,in an especially chilly Penthouse.# Yes, I said it. I have a Penthouse, #Na Siringi. :D

I was supposed to be writing about a totally different topic today, umm, some stuff about Kenyan gospel music shows.

Do not be alarmed, I was not going to diss them or anything, I was going to give them props for making my Sundays more bearable :) # I can already hear religious fanatics breath a sigh of relief lol! They are actually quite good..Tukuza especially.

However, since we are already discussing them, I have a problem with the presenters!!!!
#Notice the 4 exclamation marks!
 *Boy, I had to do it*

I'm all for creating playful, witty and alluring banter on set, but there is no excuse for the un-professionalism bordering idiocy I have experienced today!
I respect the fact that most of your viewers are not as discerning as others, for instance, most of the feedback you receive is from marginal areas in Kenya, BUT DEAR PRESENTERS, please prepare some mature content worth watching for the more intellectually inclined viewers, the likes of myself #But do I say :p. #Jaluo inside

Anyway, the thing that got my panties in a bunch today, is the documentaries, or Investigative Journalism Pieces if you like, done by our journalists.
I know most people will join me in giving a standing ovation to the likes of Mohammed what's his other name again #Skinny fellow with the funny ears from KTN, now at NTV btw, and the rougish John Allan Namu. Big up yourselves sirs..

Your bosses did the right thing to spend their hooker money on you guys!                                  

 Lol..I got a little carried away with the hooker thing, but this shit be real!

Anyway, I have just concluded watching In the Footsteps of Kabuga, (some lunatic left it on my computer), and damn! Kenyan journalism is going places! Fantastic watch that one..sitting in bed on a chilly afternoon, but at the end of it, I was left with a simmering bowl of freshly baked concern and the sour repugnant taste of reality in my mouth.

The big wigs in this country have never learnt not to shit where they eat!
Mayne! Even this cat knows where to do his stuff :)

I'm I the only person who seems to think that one day we (Kenyan Citizens), tutaambiwa ati Tittle deed ya Kenya ilipeanwa?! I will not be suprised to hear in future that Kenya iliuzwa to the highest bidder, leaving us peniless and flat broke on the street!

 It's shocking just how the government is ALWAYS..MORE OFTEN THAN NOTin the middle of all these riveting investigative pieces!

However,the best part of it all is the reaction of the government to such logical, well-founded and inevitable conclusions.
Haha.. I had a laugh with this one of Allan Namu.

The Police paraded some poor bloke, a retired civil servant now a timberyard operator from Isiolo, as the said Felicien Kabuga. The police are an ingenious lot.. You have to give them that.
The guy appeared in the Police Spokesman's office, wearing a brand new identical shirt with the one the alleged Kabuga was wearing, same watch and get this..A matching cap!

The thing that amused me is that they(The police) must have been charging for advertising hehe. All his gear was branded. Trust Kenyan opportunists hehe..
The cap had an Mpesa brand from the con-artists at Safaricon #Terms and Conditions apply as usual, and countless nondescript brands plastered left right and centre on the brand new polo. Check it out on YouTube if you think I'm yanking your chain.

Kenya is truly the land of opportunity :)
#I want my cut

I will leave you with a joke about the police in Kenya though..

One day, a rich tycoon wanted to conduct a survey of which intelligence body in the world was the best at it's job. The FBI, the CIA and *surprise surprise* the Kenyan Police Force were selected to participate.
The Tycoon released a rabbit into a forest and asked the three forces to find it.
The FBI went into the forest, placed plant and animal informants in the forest, but reported that there was no rabbit.
The CIA went in next, uprooted the entire forest and burnt the plants to the ground, but reported no rabbit was found.
The Kenyan Police went into the forest, and returned with a badly beaten monkey yelling,
"I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

And on that bombshell,
Have yourselves a lovely Sunday Afternoon :)


Friday, 13 July 2012

Greetings Earthlings, It's Friday the 13th

Greetings earthlings! 
I come in peace :)
Hail ye who traverse the face of the earth, more specifically, the 254 :).
Apart from the cliche blog sphere salutation doubling up as an uncanny greeting(no idea why I had the strange inclination to use it), It’s yet another beautiful morning in the capital, Friday the 13th...Again!! 

This particular date is associated with images such as..


Whichever tickles your fancy. I just think to some extent, it's a pile of BALOOONEY!!


Beautiful day today is.. Not because it's sunny and bright outside. But because I'm looking damn good!# I'm conceited like that.
 You know... It's one of those days you walk past a mirror and have to walk back and think, "Damn! Who's that fly mother fucker?!" I'm rocking this totally kick-ass trench coat #yess bitches! I upgraded hehe, just a little though :) I can't get enough of myself.
#Suddenly I understand why Kanye would have sex not looking at the chic but looking at the reflection of himself in the mirror #Real talk.  Oh, I almost forgot. #Allegedly.
I've been walking around looking at myself on every shiny/reflective surface. #Vanity running deep

Anyway, moving on from my pointless rambling though, this day has lived up to expectations.
#Apart from looking devilishly good, My day has been off from the very onset. 
I'm not the superstitious sort, but damn, it is too much of a coincidence.

My alarm didn’t go off as expected, resulting in my ass waking up later than I ought to. In the shower, I slipped and dropped the soap. #Thank God I was not in some American Prison.
Got “pitishwad” my stop for work, resulting in me doing a 10 minute power walk to the office, but at least my no one rode my ass. Now, I'm not sure what karma has got in store for me for the rest of the day.
Anyway, hope it turns out okay.

For some strange reason, I seem to bear the opinion that Friday the 13th comes round once a year…And I distinctly recall another such day this year #My mind must be aging at a rate faster than I dare to comprehend. 

I sure hope your Friday turn out okay.

For the superstitious sort, stay away from black cocks.
That came out wrong,
I mean, stay away from black cockerels and avoid walking under ladders if you can.

Happy hunting people.

The Boss,


Thursday, 12 July 2012

Fresh Post :)

There is a first time for everything. Today is another first in my never ending bizarre existence I call my life. I am posting my first on my new blog *excited*..

I guess I've always fancied myself as a good writer, albeit keeping it under wraps and unleashing it only back in the day when we had the legendary essay writing in the Kenyan 844 Education system..and occasionally charming my way into some cute, self-conscious young lady's life (excluding the most obvious precedent). Other than that, I might have as well have been the ordinary bloke you pass unnoticed on the street, another grey shade on the canvas that is life.

But all in all, it feels good to join intelligentsia once more. The reluctant academic I think of myself  :).

I look foward to rubbing shoulders with you on the corridors of cyber space.

The Boss,